My blinker hits the old gravel road and my stomach does this twisty turvey thing. I try to avoid the potholes and my van stops and I stare through the windows. There’s this boy, this beautiful boy and he doesn’t belong to me, but my heart tells me otherwise sometimes.... He’s not mine, yet the little boy with the golden hair and quiet smile comes announcing to the world that his Aunt Tracy is here... and he knew I would come-He knew! He knew I was coming as he flings his body into mine. That voice that I have stilled, that incredible love that I push down into the quiet place in my soul, releases…it releases and I hug this boy child. He smells of dirt and boy sweat and his hair is in every which direction and that smile, that smile melts me every single time. I know that if it were within my doing this boy could have anything he desired. He climbs in my van already telling me all the things that we are going to do-and aren’t my kids going to be so excited to see him? And isn’t my dog going to be so happy? Uncle D, is Uncle D home? Uncle D loves me...Do they know? Do they know I’m coming??
The next morning in the space right between night and morning, that few moments of quiet right before the ruckus of my home begins- I was thinking through His words “I knew you would come, I just knew” and I understood for I hold onto those words too-don’t you?
One day, I will see my father and run up to him and say..I knew you would come, I just knew and I’ll fling my body into His and He will look at me like I look at that little boy, with incredible love for me! I hope my smell, my actions and my appearance are pleasing to the Lord. I’m going to enter through those gates and see the beautiful place He has prepared for me and when I get there..I’m not going anywhere! Are you coming with me? Do you know??
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